Back in the Saddle Again

Well, finally, after a hiatus of about 2 weeks, I was back to work.  Before taking a break, I was suffering from severe anxiety over 'messing up' every dog I touched. I'm not sure what caused the problem, but it was extremely debilitating.  Then along with it came a fear of being bitten.  Again, no reason for it.  It just WAS. For the last week before christmas I found myself unable to finish a dog for one reason or another, and let mom finish them for me. Some of it was time constraints, some were difficult dogs, some were silly things, like fear of cutting the eyebrows off a schnauzer. Go figure.

That horrible streak finally came to an end yesterday.  Although my dogs still took 2 hours each, and they weren't what I would call perfect by any means, they were done, they were clean, neat, and completed by me. Unfortunately, I didn't take any pictures because I was more focused on relaxing and getting the job done. But for the first time in about a month, I was relaxed and enjoying what I did.  I'm sure hoping to have broken that horrible streak of anxiety and lack of confidence!

Confidence, Or A Lack Of

It has been a rough week, and I'm not sure why.  I have been apprenticing now for about 5 months, and until now was feeling pretty good about the pace at which I've been learning.  My grooms, though far from perfect, have been improving, and I generally feel like I'm turning out dogs that I'm proud to give back to their owners. 

Then came this week.  It began with the fact that I'm finally doing poodles and just don't feel like I have the scissor control to make them look right.  Then there is my speed, or lack of.  I know I should be doing grooms in less than 2 hours, but for me to put out a dog that I'm proud of, I just can't seem to get them done in less.  That scares me, now that I'm ready to begin renovations on the garage to turn it into my shop.

Will I be ready when the time comes to open?

Will I enjoy it when I'm working full days?

Can I turn out quality dogs?

Will I be able to handle the more difficult/aggressive dogs?

Will my body allow me to keep doing this?

All these questions keep spinning around in my head.  I just keep pushing forward, hoping that all the doubts and fears will melt away as I continue to do what I'm doing.  Today is better. Of course, I slept better and didn't wake up in pain during the night for the first time in weeks.  I suppose only time will tell.  But I'm committed now, so I'll just keep trudging forward and looking forward to being self employed.

Am I the only person who faces such a staggering lack of confidence when they first start grooming?

Black Dog, White Dog

I am finding something that surprises me greatly.  I have difficulty seeing black dogs.  My depth perception and inability to see those 'standie outies' are frustrating me beyond measure!  I would have thought it would be much more difficult to see a white dog than a black one. Not so. At least not for me.  Yesterday I did a black poodle. It was a struggle. I forgot the before pic, but not the 'after' shot.

Apparently my camera has a similar issue. Or maybe I can't even see the black dog in a photo.  

I also did a WHITE dog with much better results lol. Here is her before. Her mom didnt want much taken off since its getting colder.

And here she is after:

Still so much learning to do.